Category Archives: Resistance to Change

Searching for Normal

Days start, some in the wee hours and some at what, in my before-cancer-life, was what I considered a normal time. My run to the bathroom my first clue of how the day is going to unfold. Two things happen in the bathroom that reminds me that my life has fundamentally changed: the quick glance in the mirror that shows either a bald head or, if its been a cold night, a yellow hat knitted lovingly by my friend, Sharon or a colorful bandana supplied by my friend, Pam that I put on at some point during the night. Then there is the pause to remind myself to disinfect the toilet seat and cover before and after flushing. After these relatively quick occurrences, I monitor the time I choose to spend in front of the mirror preparing for what happens next.

(Just a side note about the bathroom. [Warning: Might be TMI] Due to the type of chemo I’m receiving, my bodily fluids are considered toxic waste. So no spitting, sneezing, tissue sharing, sex, or toilet flushing without hazardous waste precautions. In the bathroom that means a toilet wipe down with a anti-bacterial wipe after every use. Never has our toilet sparkled as it does these days.)

Tuesday is a no choice day. Get ready for a trip to the Marshfield Cancer Center for my weekly Chemo Treatment. Feels almost regular. What am I going to wear? What time is my appointment? Who’s going with me? What do I need to bring? Is it a meet with the Doctor week so get your questions ready or just blood work and chemo, so bring a good book or charged iPad? I can almost convince myself that it’s like getting ready to go give a speech as long as I don’t think too hard.

Saturday is also pretty easy. Miriam is going to pick me up at 7:00 am for our normal Weight Watchers routine: weigh in, meeting at 8:00 am, run to the Farmer’s Market for eggs and a great Mother/Daughter discussion over coffee and breakfast at Patina’s. Back home for a nap.

It’s the other days of the week that can be tricky. Those are days I have to make a decision. Am I chemo tired and need to just be lazy, depression tired and need to give into to feeling sorry for myself for a while, or am I attitude tired and need to give myself one of those motivational, change is good presentations I’ve preached to others and just get on with it? Why, I think on these days, can’t things go back to normal? When days were filled with possibilities and activities destined to bring an unfolding future.

It’s not that I’m giving up or that I’m unwilling to fight and do everything possible to have a long and productive future; it’s just that right now with the information I have and the short-term options available, the futures not looking so promising.

Actually if you’ve read this far, please know that this is a good day. As speakers were taught not to share emotional stories with our audience until we’ve thoroughly processed those emotions for ourselves. As a writer, especially in a forum like this, I guess we get a little more leeway. I certainly haven’t finished processing this experience. Guess it will take the rest of my life to get it figured out! For those of you who know me as an upbeat, positive, change-has-a-silver-lining kind of a person, I’m certain this is difficult to read. However, writing this truthfully is helpful for me.

Performance Review Myths

Continuing to answer the excellent questions submitted by the participants in my session Managing Resistance to Change at the ASAE Great Ideas Conference. These Association leaders really know how to get to the heart of an issue with a question!


 If you are not a part of the Association Management world, substitute employees for the word member. You're facing these issues, too and the answers will apply.


Be sure to use the comments section to continue the dialogue.


1.    When mandating change with reviews

Questions and Answers about Resistance to Change

In mid-March, I had the opportunity to present a session on Managing Resistance to Change at the ASAE Great Idea! Conference at the Broadmoor in Colorado Spring, COGIC header_logo. During the program, participants had more excellent questions than time allowed for answers during the actual break-out. We gathered the questions via text messaging and I promised to post answers on my blog. So, to all the Great Idea! participants as well as any other readers, I hope you

Come On Josie, You Can Do It!

Josie has
been scooting along with her own unique crawling style since early May. She had
her first birthday at the end of June. In July, standing up – holding on to a
reliable piece of furniture or adult became the norm.
August brought the fun game of looking adorable for an adult so they’d take you
for a walk. Here it is September and Josie is four steps away from walking by

I’ve been watching Josie. She stands, holding on – one hand is okay – and lets go.
She stands un-tethered and looks around. Finds something across the room of
interest. Plops down and crawls full speed to get it. Why take the risk of
walking when crawling gets the job done?

The resistance to change starts
early! Since Josie